WITHOUT A SAFETY NET IT'S
UNTHINKABLE
THINKING IS THE DETOX
AS A BOY HE LOVED THE CIRCUS.
The wonder of it all kept him rapt for the entire time he was there. But as the days and weeks passed, he forgot what made him laugh so hard at the clown, why he loved seeing the elephants being prodded, and how the man who was shot out of the cannon survived without a broken back. Over time those dark thoughts faded. Except for the thought of the pretty traipse artist falling through a hole in the safety net. It never happened and she never fell; when he was there.
As an adult he knows how to avoid a complete disaster. It’s called insurance, a safety belt, a roof over his head, and a backup of his files. Even so, there are no guarantees. He accepts that, and gets on with his life. He becomes complacent. He takes risks and knows that there, lurking in the corner is
The Unthinkable.
He might be responsible.
He might be brave.
He might be a louse and live in a cave.
But he might be me.
Or you.
THE TRUISM
He can’t unthink the unthinkable, even if he just calls it the big U. Because after a while he thinks of it as the big YOU—i.e. himself; it becomes a kind of a circular paranoia. It is incontestable and can be anything, which makes him think about it even more. And maddeningly, though it’s big and dark and looming, it’s still unknowable. That’s what scares him; or used to.
But he revisits those familiar deflecting phrases in his head:
“I can always . . . ”, “I’ll just . . . ”
When the Unthinkable happens it’s already too late.
He would have, could have, should have had a safety net. She should have mended the hole before she swung through the air. Before he took the pills he should have asked for help from a true friend. Instead, they found him blue and Unthinkable.
This does not happen to Mindy and Pablo who are empowered to think for themselves. And in doing so the big U dissolves. They have learned that once you have fallen through the safety net, there is only way to save yourself. Get help from a true friend.
